Election Talk 1: Dystopic Futures!
by Molly C
Mitt Romney evicts everyone and builds a fortress around the Americans for Prosperity club! He buys the White House, installs an infinite pool. The 99% face an unrelenting wave of natural disasters, never to hear from the government again!
Newt Gingrich steals the election, invades Iran, calls for mass arrests and indictments under DOMA, and finds the most racist ways possible to shut down public services!
Ron Paul reinstates feudalism, grants his son a fiefdom, and makes way for a new era of segregation!
Barack Obama spends all the Social Security money on drones! Surviving watered-down reform bills are stuck in the public charade of congressional gridlock, while we slowly pass the deadline on climate change! Jeb Bush is sworn into the White House in 2016 in 65 degree weather!
Mitt Romney laughs all the way to the bank, while gays marry in the streets and high school nurses perform abortions!
New Gingrich instates a “Second Lady” and replaces her twice!
Ron Paul really ruins things with Israel…
Barack ObamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHH:SLDFKJSDFJ:DFS! We still have a Black President!! Panic button! Panic button! Panic button!